Saturday, January 5, 2008, I just happened to call Carol to ask how her sister was doing because I was so strongly thinking about her. Regi has been suffering with the battle to live with everyday pain and the treatments due to the chemo for her cancer. I knew that Regi was in St. Francis Hospital, but on this Saturday in January, I wasn’t getting good energy over how I felt. After talking to Carol, she asked me to send some Reiki healing, and I said, “No problem.” Meanwhile, I called Marie Menut, R.N., Tibetan Bowl & Reiki Master; Nancy Clara, Reiki Healer and Massage Therapist; and Carol Fahey, my Master of Reiki, to send energy to Regi.
That Saturday I really felt like I was coming down with something. I had low energy, emptiness, body aches, etc. I called Carol to come to my shop and contacted Marie to do some bowl work on her because I felt everyone’s pain in my body. Carol and Marie got together and the healing bowl session took place at about three o’clock in the afternoon. After everyone left, I really couldn’t shake this feeling.
Sunday morning, I got up and had breakfast with my husband. I kept explaining to him that I really felt terrible about Regi today, who was in the hospital. He gave me the words of comfort that we all need while reflecting on the gates of the unknown in life–not knowing the outcome of a situation. I then had to call Carol, so I picked up the phone and rang Carol. She explained to me, “We are all here around Regi. All of her family members are present. It doesn’t look promising.” I asked Carol to give Regi a huge healing hug from me, and she explained that she couldn’t get close to her. I said some comforting words to Carol to give her strength. I really felt a lot of weight on my body, tired, and very low, low energy after hanging up the phone. I kept asking what was wrong with me, as I had slept well. I did know that I had to do something for Regi. I kept asking, “What can I do?” –“What can I do?” –feeling like my hands were tied.
That’s when I heard the voice, “ Paint what she would like; just paint for Regi.” I went to my art table and pulled out a canvass and my paints. I prayed for Regi to come through in my painting. As I was painting, I felt Regi’s inner peace, warmth, and laughter. I remembered the day I sent her a chrysalis for her birthday. Regi and Carol were so excited about the transformation that Regi sent me a beautiful picture of the Monarch that was born in a frame. I thought of that day while painting the butterflies.
I also knew that Regi loved kayaking and fishing, so I put her on the Horizon of Life catching fish and the big fish just under her kayak. As I painted three butterflies, either because of the Trinity, or the three people she so dearly loved and left behind, —or maybe the three people greeting her on the other side. I don’t know, but I knew Regi knew.
Also, when I went to paint the sky, I just couldn’t get myself to paint blue. I saw yellow—a beautiful yellow sky. When I discussed the sky color with Carol, my Reiki Master, she asked me if I knew what the color meant. I didn’t. She told me that it was the color of passing over. I explained to Carol that Regi was passing over in peace because I painted the Peace Dove in the painting.
While painting in memory of Regi, I felt her kind, thoughtful, funny, and peaceful ways were guiding my hand to help comfort her family and friends, whom she had to leave. The rainbow in the painting suggests hope and healing, Look for the many rainbows in our lives. The colors of a rainbow are the healing energy for all of us. The pink ribbon of hope, as it runs off the canvass represents the infinity symbol. Regi will live in each of our hearts forever.
The day after I finished the Memory of Regi, I woke up and felt peaceful. I picked up the phone to call Carol to ask how Regi was doing. She told me that she had been calling me all day at the shop. I reminded her that I was closed on Mondays and was home. That is when Carol said, “Regi passed away yesterday at 3 p.m.” I was numb, but I also felt that Regi must have guided me to do this. It was a reassurance that the pain that I had felt on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday while painting this was a sign. Then with the relief of the pain in my body on Tuesday, I felt that Regi was at peace. The emotions that we go through when a loved one passes are probably the most exhausting feelings a body can withstand. The situation leaves one feeling helpless and powerless. You realize just how fragile life is.
Love one another, laugh, and live your life to the fullest. No one knows the time we have together. It could be one minute or 100 years. Time is as precious as the body. I feel the way Dr. Bernie Siegel feels, “When the body is tired, let it go.”
Our love is endless. Regina, Regi, Mom, Grams . . .
SAVE THE LAST DANCE FOR ME.
